Another sleepless night

Someone said to me recently that they can’t believe i have MS. With all that I do (real estate, work with my husband, graphic design, teach horseback riding, paint, etc) it was a shock to know I had this disease. I guess I don’t really think about it. If you choose to be defined by what you have instead of who you are, I guess I can see that. I don’t go about my day and say “Gee, I shouldn’t do that because I have MS.” I go about my day and if I notice I am tired or not feeling quite up to it, then I might say “today isn’t a good day for me.” I don’t want to be defined by a disease. I want to be defined by the person I am. Make sense?

But to discuss this damn disease, I woke up, again, at 3AM. Can’t they find a drug that doesn’t make you have insomnia? Solumedrol is not the one, I can tell you that. So I am working on 3 nights of hardly any sleep with one more to come. (The first night was due to the steroids I had injected in my back, the other 2 nights were from the dreaded Solumedrol). So I get up, work, clean, enjoy the quiet. But I’d much rather be sleeping.

The side effects are the worst part. They are worse than the MS flare-up. Insomnia, insatiable hunger, moodiness, anxiousness, the list goes on and on. In the info from the company, they even mention the possibility of ‘frank psychotic manifestations’. Whatever that might be, I’m sure I’ve had one or two.



6 thoughts on “Another sleepless night

  1. It is interesting that we both posted about a sleepless night within hours of each other. In my case, as is my custom in my blog, I did it through poetry. Here is the poem and link:

    In the Middle of the Night

    Sipping chamomile
    in the middle of the night
    hoping I can sleep.

    One night I sleep well
    the next I am wide awake
    the reason obscure.

    Lack of sleep makes worse
    challenges already faced
    with chronic fatigue.

    I salute you for doing as much as you do, especially given that you have MS.

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